I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
