he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
