Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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