I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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