you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
