the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
