No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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