New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
