No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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