Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
