You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
