The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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