Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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