dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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