If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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