Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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