yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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