the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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