maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
