im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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