I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
