The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
