And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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