my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
