I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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