It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
