Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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