Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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