I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
