Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
