so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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