I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
