He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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