Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
