I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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