are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
