I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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