i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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