I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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