whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
