so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sorry my hands just texted you
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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