Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
