i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
