ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
love makes seman taste better
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
3pm strippers are depressing
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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