is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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