I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
