yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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