hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize