Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
