It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my shit smells like andre
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I did not marry a roomba.
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