i don't like sucking hair
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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