Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
