Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize