Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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