Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
