i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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