Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
