im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
