So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize