eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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