Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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