before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
